May 2010
17 posts
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Would it interest you to know...
…that in addition to inventing America Benjamin Franklin also invented disposable contact lenses and adultery?
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“I ASKED FOR A RUBEN, NOT A ROAST BEEF ON RYE! AMATEURS…”
– Richard Nixon, during the 18½ minute gap in the Oval Office recordings
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Did you even want to know...
…that Grover Cleveland ran for his second non-consecutive term as U.S. President with the slogan “See, I told you so”?
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This Day in History
May 17, 2004
Massachusetts becomes the first US state to legalize same-sex marriage. This is seen by many as the first phase of the Armageddon. It is a very slow and subtle Armageddon, but it is happening. Trust me.
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This Day in History
May 13, 1880. Menlo Park, New Jersey
Thomas Edison performs the first test of his electric railroad. The train was conducted by a cabal of energetic locomotive experts call the Electric Six. However the test was unsuccessful and the engine exploded soon after the test commenced, resulting in widespread Electric Mayhem. Edison would later go on to patent electric mayhem too.
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Happy Birthday!
Orange Julius Rosenberg, born May 12, 1918
You know, I am having a tough time coming up with a joke for this one. It’s shocking…
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Holidays and Observances: May 11
Skynet Day
Happy Skynet Day everyone! Due to interference by a robot from the future Skynet Day isn’t technically celebrated in this timeline. But can you imagine the party they are having in those other timelines? Man, it must be off the hook over there!
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Holidays and Observances: May 7
Feast of Saint John of Beverley, Hills that is.
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This Day in History
May 6, 1937, Lakehurst, New Jersey
As it is coming in to dock, the German Zeppelin, Hindenburg, catches fire and burns to the ground in seconds, killing 36 people. Because the Hindenburg was operated by Nazi Germany, historians agree that this is the biggest event of foreshadowing ever witnessed by man.
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Yet More Crap Invented by Thomas Edison
The Electric Cigarette
Ink Jet Printers
The Concept Album
The Electric Autopainter
Chatroulette
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Holidays and Observances: May 5
Senior Citizens Day, Republic of Palau
You thought I was going to do Cinco de Mayo, didn’t you? Well screw Mexican St. Patrick’s Day! I think Palau deserves some recognition, especially the señor…err…senior citizens there! That’s right, Palauan old people deserve love too!
It’s also Buy One Coney Dog Get One Free Day at Rosie’s Coney Island in Oak Park, Michigan. So, even more reason to...
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It is exciting to learn…
…that Thomas Jefferson, in addition to being a statesman and Imperial President, was a master distiller. It was said that he produced the finest barrels of Romulan Ale in the young country out of the cellar of Montecello, that is until the Federation made Romulan Ale illegal.
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Humorist and expert on demonry, John Hodgman,...
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This Day in History
May 4, 1910
The Royal Canadian Navy is formed. Canada had a navy? Once again I ask: did Canada know?
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Why would you even know...
…that Imperial President Thomas Jefferson would start each day by shooting a Federalist? He so hated the political party of his presidential predecessor, John Adams, that he vowed he would leave none alive. Soon there too few Federalists to sate Jefferson’s blood thirst, and aids had to bring in people of other political parties for him to shoot. This finally ended when Jefferson, furious,...